Thursday, January 19, 2006

faded photographs...

i am 23 and yong joon is 33 and he is the opposite of the actor girls my age normally run after. he’s very refined to the point of being mistaken as kind of stuffy, quiet, unassuming & more on the shy side, rarely seen in public, film projects are far and between, has a very strict self management regimen that others may think as rather mechanical….etc…etc…

and yet….here i am blabbering on anything and everything about him. just crazy about him… then how do i explain this craziness that has besieged me since 2004? this got me wondering. i fell for this well mannered, matured, intelligent guy 10 yrs my senior but will i also fall for him if he’s younger, and still has some sense and wisdom to acquire?let me see, what if today is year 1997, & there’s already this korean wave splashing all over asia. i’m still 23 and yong joon is 25 yrs old. he’s the most popular guy in korea & asia, girls dream about him…guys envied him….the media go wild over him…will i also feel this way about him if i got to know him at this age? of course, he’s the same tall, good looking guy with that oh so melting voice but will his aura & charisma be able to capture my attention & trigger an explosive interest from me?
when i look at his “old” photos, short hair, kindda rabbit front teeth ^^ , fleshier body, funny looking round specs…it makes me smile & a wistful feeling washes over me. i see the innocence yet there’s this maturity in his eyes, i see a more carefree yong joon and yet there’s this distance, an invisible wall where i can’t go beyond. do i like what i’m seeing in those “old and faded” photographs? you guessed it right...i like what is in those photos. the younger yong joon definitely captured my attention and sparked my interest. ok, my answer is so predictable and so typical but seriously, i kind of miss the yong joon of the 90’s. oftentimes, i do wish that i was around at that time. i would have loved to see him grow as an actor before my eyes, how he overcome the odds and still come out the winner.Moreover, I would have loved to see the more carefree yong joon. yes, there are lots of photos today, even vods where he was captured in his relaxed & unguarded moments, making his usual funny antics, showing his “other” side to the world. but in my mind, there is less of that now and more of the byj the actor persona. he may not have changed that much…the same aloofness, a kind of “coldness” that warms my heart (!!!), same stubbornness, but in my eyes, something is missing. it is as if he is shielding himself more from public scrutiny. it is as if he’s a little wearier and you get this feeling that he wants to get away & stay away from whoever or whatever?? it’s kind of sad but i guess it’s the reality of his current status. lots of things are at stake now & they come as part of him.

so, how do i conclude these kind of wandering thoughts? i don’t think i can. there is still a long way to go to even understand a little bit more of him. this is probably just the tip of the iceberg. Ps ~ i’m thankful to happiebb and close2yj for coming out with those wonderful articles on the younger yong joon. come to think of it, i’m learning and discovering a lot of new things from old stories ^^


Blogger mishio said...

Hi Frances-
New here too! Just gotta say, I really like the way your mind works. Before today, i'd never guess your age - so smart, keen, and mature (pardon, sounding so grandmama like) - it's no wonder you are crazy about him!
I have the same thoughts - wished I'd walk this path with him all the way from the beginning, supporting and growing with him. Yes, he seems ever more weighed down and distant these days - makes me a little sad. So much at stake now, guess it's just the nature of the business.

10:57 PM  
Blogger frances said...

hi there mishio,
nice of you to visit! i'm really having fun w/ this byj blogging coz i get to say things i dont and cant normally say in the byj threads i frequent. & the funny thing is i get to write more often if we dont have much news about him or if he is in his blackout periods. once he goes public again, expect this blog to go blank for a number of days!!
but of coz i intend to change that^^

11:58 PM  
Blogger bb said...

'lil chili pad...
mmm... you sure have been blogging quite regularly these days, ya? neat posting there, thanks!

5:42 AM  
Blogger joycebay said...

Hi Frances and Mishio,
Yup I thought it was just my own thought when I felt the same looking at his photos. The sadness that I felt even when he was smiling in the pic.

And Frances I really like your writing style, wow! and coming from someone just 23 years young you sure know a lot of stuff!

7:11 PM  

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